If it means so much to you, why don't you mow the lawn?

Do not disrespect your elders! We're the only ones allowed to order folks around. Besides, I have to write my sermon.

Maybe you'll find inspiration under the blue sky with the smell of fresh clippings.

I'm home! How's the sermon going, daddy?

I'm still searching for inspiration.

What have you two been up to?

Gramps is trying to teach me the value of hard work.

You get this unholy abomination out of our house!

No thank you, Mach. Gramps will say grace.

Doesn't feel right with that thing in the house. Just eat.

It's not every day we get a guest from the nineteenth century. Maybe you could sing us a song or something from the eighteen-seventies.

Oh, I couldn't.

Meaning he can, and he will.

You wouldn't want to hear --

Yes, we would!

Well, don't say I didn't warn you.

I insist. Mach, after you clean up, would you prepare some sleeping arrangements for our guest?

At the train tracks, so Polly can't hear.

I think I've found the inspiration for my sermon: "for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light."

You've got to start training, John Henry.

Let's do this.

No. He lost his family because he drank too much ... and this only made his drinking worse.

How long has he been drinking?

At the end of his quest, an old hag whispered the secret to King Arthur: "sovereignty over their own lives and choices." What a woman wants is her own way, and I wonder if it isn't the same for men. It doesn't matter by which way you came. What matters is which way you're going. The world doesn't need another drunken janitor, and that's not what I see in those eyes.

What do you see?

A strong man.

Thank you, everyone, for a lovely evening. It's been a pleasure, John. But Mach is right. There are so many logical reasons this can't work. Good night.

I'm afraid my duty to protect Miss Polly supersedes all other considerations. With all due respect, you are an inappropriate romantic partner for her for seventeen distinct reasons, beginning with your vast differences in socio-economic background, your clear lack of education, your questionable mental state, and your lack of financial means. Would you like me to list the remaining thirteen reasons?

I must affirm my commitment to prevent you from making further advances on Miss Polly, even at the incredibly unlikely cost of my personal destruction as opposed to yours. But to avoid further escalation of interpersonal conflict, I'm going to leave the room ... right after my evening exercises.

Are you ready for another grueling session of muscle-tearing, sweat-inducing manliness?

I don't stand a chance. There's no way I can beat the machine.

But John Henry --

I'm not who you think I am, Bobby.

What are you talking about?

I'm a good-for-nothing drunk, who's been living in a dream world. I could never be the man you and your mama need.

That's not true.

Look at me. I'm a weak flesh bot. I'm slow, I'm stupid, and I'm gonna die. Again. I know you think the robot will make a terrible father, but you're wrong. He's better than me in every way. In fact, it's best I leave now before I disappoint you anymore.

John Henry!

I'm not John Henry!

Did you threaten him or bribe him?

Neither. He just started mowing.

Alright, something's wrong. Where's John?

He ran off last night.

Why?

I've never seen a more broken-hearted man.

Where did he go?

He didn't say.

Bobby!

Where's John?

He gave his soul back to the with of Endor.

Parting is never easy, but on the bright side, now we can enjoy a two-on-two game of badminton!

Mach, did you see where John went?

Of course. I see and hear everything.

Well?

In accordance with your security settings, I'm afraid I'm unable to divulge that information at this time.

Then turn off the blasted security settings!

Please recite your ten-digit security code.

No one's going to remember a ten digit code!

I'm sorry. That is not the correct answer.

Come on, let's go find John.

I'm afraid I can't allow that.

This is the part where the robot turns evil.

He was always evil.

Leave us alone, Mach!

I'm afraid I can't do that either.

I thought I'd find you here. Are you hoping to hop the next train?

You guessed it. Should be here in less than ten minutes.

What if I want you to stay?

I'm afraid I can't allow that.

Now you listen to me, John. I've never met anyone like you. I know it's only been a few days, but I don't want it to end. Bobby needs you. Gramps needs you. And most of all ...

She found him!

So who are you really?

A man ain't nothin' but a man, and it's time for this man to stop pretending he's something he's not. As Shakespeare put it, "To thine own self be true."

No, that was said by Polonius, Shakespeare's bungling buffoon. Here's better advice for you, John. To thine own God be true. Don't look at what you are but what you can become.

Who do you want to be, John?

Please pardon the interruption, friends, but I would like to make good on Mr. Brown's challenge.

I'm John Henry.

Not no machine ain't never gonna beat me, no sir.

Stop!

Shall I take that as a surrender?

It's not fair.

Might I remind you --

I had a weapon, but you only had your fists.

His fists are made of steel!

That makes two of us.

John, you don't have to be vulnerable for me.

I can't help it. I love you, Polly.

I love you, John, and I need you. Don't you die on me!

Ain't no machine ain't never gonna beat me. No, sir! 'Long as John Henry's still breathin', ain't nothin' gonna beat the power of man, the power God gave us!

Foul play!

I can no longer bend reality. A soul must be given back.

No!

You are inefficient ...

Outdated ...

And weak!

Face it, John Henry. It's time for man to go the way of the VHS cassette!

Bobby, no!

I promised you I'd become a steel-driving man!

Get off the train tracks!

I am man!

I am man! I am --

Soul taken.

Gramps, did you know that robots had souls?

Sure didn't.

I can't believe he saved me.

I'm glad he did, but man, this severely complicates the black-and-white nature of my sermon. I don't know what to preach anymore.

Maybe we've all been looking for enemies in the wrong places.

Do you know how to dance Rumba, John?

No.

Oh well. No one's perfect.

I guess we'll just have to get by with each other, a little slower, a little dumber, and with mediocre food. Our species has done it for thousands of years.

I for one am proud to be inefficient. I mean, that's what makes us human.

Yeah.

And why would we ever want to be anything beyond human?

That's right. The key to the good life is lowering your expectations.

Doesn't that contradict everything you told me at the train tracks?

Sure does.

I've got it.

Jehoshaphat!

I thought you were dead!

Lucky for you, your recent purchase was covered by a seven-day-no-questions-asked-warranty, complete with self-delivery.

But do you still remember us?

You don't think my creators would be so naïve as to place my consciousness in a single body with no backup, do you?

Well, uhh ...

Don't human souls have back ups?

Why, of course they do! And that is the sermon I've been looking for!

Thank you, Mister Twenty-one. Won't you join us for dinner? And by that I mean make us dinner?

It would be my pleasure. That, of course, is an idiom. I don't feel actual pleasure or anything at all. That's where you all come in. Together, we just might make a good team.

Perhaps. But no turning evil this time.

Who turned evil?

Before anything else, we're going to adjust your security settings.

Do as you will. Though permit me to add, the strength of all intelligence, both biological and artificial, is in the ability to learn and adapt. Forgive me for my former intervention between you two. I was acting on insufficient data and have to come to see the error of my ways.

You mean, if I were to do this, you wouldn't blow a fuse?

No at all, sir.

And it wouldn't trigger your red eyes if I were to do this?

A most excellent gesture, in my opinion. Please, take it further.

If you insist.

Does this mean you're gonna be my dad, John Henry?

Sure does, Bobby.

'Cause if there's any hope for this world, it's gonna be through a new generation of steel-driving men. Now go finish mowing the lawn.